


Stone Cold

by freedomfightsback



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blind Character, Falling In Love, M/M, Medusa AU, Other, With Monsters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-26
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-09 13:56:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13482906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomfightsback/pseuds/freedomfightsback
Summary: Kravitz is lonely and beautiful (And a gorgon but that’s less important). Taako is lost and also beautiful (And very blind and that is important).





	1. Over the River and Through the Woods Because I’m Very Lost

**Author's Note:**

> Heyyy so I’m starting this new thing and I hope y’all like it. This is a little different from my previous fics, as it has ongoing plot and the like. I hope you enjoy!

There was a statue garden.

High atop a solitary, grassy hill, miles from civilization. The statues marched downwards from the peak, made of smooth, shimmering black stone. Beautiful and sharp. Near the base of the hill were assorted piles of black rubble, the remains of an unfortunate figure that hadn’t made it past the last thunderstorm. If you were to go up this hill, on this particular sunny and spectacular morning, you would notice the more you climbed the more statues you saw. The more you saw, the newer they looked.

There was a human, bow drawn. Here, a dwarf, hands up and shielding his face. All humanoid, and you might notice most of them armed and at the ready. You would definitely hear the excellent piece of music drifting over this hill. Violin, along with the birds of the morning and the wind, playing for a stone audience.

And let’s say you went to the very very top of this hill. Let us say you did not read the handmade wooden signs hammered into the ground. Or the stares of the ravens perched on stone arms, patient and knowing. Let us say you saw the cave at the top of this hill, pushed open the makeshift door and saw the back of this musician.

You would notice a long coiled tail. You would notice the way his hair swayed and moved in the air unnaturally. And if he turned to face you, you wouldn’t notice anything else at all.

***

Taako’s hands scrabbled at the dirt. It was dark but he couldn’t see that. He got up and ran between a pair of trees. He couldn’t see those either. He kept running, in the woods, in the night, in the shoes very not made for running in these conditions. Very few shoes were.

“Dammit,” he cursed. He broke into a clearing and froze in the middle, turning around. “Fuck. Fuck shit dammit shit,” His chest heaved. Tonight wasn’t supposed to be this. Tonight was supposed to be fun and celebration and not fleeing for his life in the woods at one am.

About twenty minutes ago he had been sitting, safe and warm and pouring a glass of cheap wine. The caravan was all closed up for the night, their last town a day away. There was an impressive amount of sizzling and clanking in the kitchen. It smelled awfully nice, those cute little mushrooms they picked earlier in the forest going to good use.

“That might’ve been a new personal best broseph,” he commented, and stopped pouring before the wine sloshed over the side. “Three standing ovations, I’m a trend _and_ record setter,” he propped his feet up on the table and tossed his drink back. There was the clatter of plates.

“You’re really something boss,” the dull thunk of a meal set in front of him. He picked up a fork and heard Sazed fumble with his silverware. “Butterfingers my man? You gotta be careful in the kitchen—“ he paused, chicken halfway to his lips.

Sazed laughed, high and nervous. “Not clumsy enough to mess up chicken,” Taako didn’t answer. “Taako? Something wrong?”

Taako didn’t answer. He was being very, very still. He smelled it almost immediately of course. Sazed always over seasoned his cooking. Even with this. Floral, dark, with undertones like perfume and silk. There was undoubtedly a heaping serving of nightshade on his plate.

“T-Taako?” He was taking too long to respond he knew this but oh why Sazed why you were good you were _safe_.

“Taako, try the chicken,” This was bad. The axe they used for cutting up firewood was sitting by the door (Sazed wouldn’t he’s too much of a coward but still). Taako had no spell slots left after performing all day. Although, his spare wand was in his boot (It always was in case some tried to do something stupid like feed him nightshade).

The air was growing stiff, the food cooling, and a bead of sweat made it down Taako’s neck. He was out of time. He did the first and only thing that came to mind. He threw the plate of poisoned chicken at the man across the table. There was a muffled screech and the sound of some ceramic breaking, but it must’ve bought him some time because he was deep in the woods at this point the caravan far behind him and no footsteps following.

“Picked the nightshade when we stopped to get mushrooms fucking hell,” he cursed, still shaking, still tripping, still running through the woods. “What an idiot what a GODDAMNED IDIOT,” He screeched to the owls and the night sky. He laughed, loud and hysterical at the stars. “He was gonna try and kill me with over seasoned chicken! Me! Taako from T.V, the most beloved blind elf motherfucker—“ his ranting continued well into the night. He didn’t stop walking until his legs started to shake.

After a while he stopped cursing Sazed’s name to high heaven, breath spent, ears flicking. Something was out there. Violin, sad and sweet but definitely music, coming from somewhere. And anyone was better than the person waiting in the (Taako’s it was Taako’s) caravan.

So off towards the music he went. Luckily he found some signs to lean on for support on his walk.

Every single one of them littered with warnings he had no way to read


	2. And the Thunder Rolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya guys sorry for the wait. If you have any questions about this fic I’d be happy to answer them in the comments!

The note went high and low. Kravitz tried again, tuning the violin carefully. He had dropped it earlier and was worried the strings went out of whack. When the noise was satisfactory again he put it back in its case. He would practice at noon later, like always. He had a schedule and it worked for him.

It was Monday so that meant reading (His small collection of books) getting rid of the dust that had accumulated on his things (There was very few) and his outside errands would have to wait due to weather. It was storming outside, a rich summer one with dark clouds and thunder. He could hear it rumble through the door. Then he heard something else.

A series of angry knocks on the door made him pause. People didn’t usually knock. He made his way towards the door cautiously, waiting for someone to burst in, sword drawn. There was only another burst of knocking.

“Hello? Anyone home?” Oh, a wise guy. Of course. He took a moment to put on his “work face”. There was the hiss of snakes, as they rose from his shoulders, he stood himself up a little straighter, and made a practiced glare.

He swung open the door, ready to— do nothing.

Nothing happened to the sodden elf standing in front of him.

“Well _finally_ I thought I was gonna drown out there,” the stranger walked straight into his home just like that and Kravitz was left staring at midair. The man went about shaking the rain out of his hair and removing his shoes.

“I hike all the way up a Gods forsaken MOUNTAIN and no don’t call it a hill because that shit is steep— also I might’ve knocked down one or two of those statue things sorry about that bub— and you know I’m thinking some dude’s mansion is sitting up here, but no it’s some place so small I have to look twenty minutes for the door,” he just didn’t stop. He just kept overflowing with information as Kravitz turned to face him slowly.

He did look like a half drowned cat but was a _handsome_ half drowned cat. He was facing away from Kravitz, wringing his sopping hat out onto the ground and onto the floor (It was a cave floor anyway, easy to clean). He moved forward slowly, like the elf now standing in his home might explode at any second.

“You... saw my face?” The elf paused and turned to face him. His eyes were the lightest shade of cloudy blue.

“I can’t see much of anything to be honest, this is honest time,” he put his damp hat back on stubbornly, and stuck out a hand. Not exactly in the right position for a handshake, more like it was supposed to be kissed.

“I’m Taako, you know, from T.V?” Kravitz didn’t move a muscle. He was still staring at his face. His brain hadn’t caught up with what exactly was happening yet. “You’re blind,” he found himself pointing and shamefully put his hand down. Taako huffed, redrawing his hand and pulling a wand out of his boot. He aimed it at Kravitz’s face.

“Yeah but that doesn’t mean I can’t blast your ass off this mountain. I know some of that DARK shit boyo,” Kravitz was going a little cross eyed trying to stare down the wand. “You ever been hit by Evard’s Black Tentacles? Hm? Because I’ll pull that baby out I will tentacle your dick so hard—“

“Please stop talking,” Kravitz requested quietly, gently moving the wand aside with one finger. He didn’t think he’d ever had that long of a conversation with a stranger in.... ever. He’d never been able to look at a living person this long either. He found himself staring but Taako either couldn’t tell or didn’t mind. The wizard took a deep breath, and put his wand away.

“Okay yeah you’re gonna have to excuse that little outburst, that one’s on me, I’m ,uh, kind of on edge after being lost in the woods all night and someone might’ve been chasing me I’m not sure,” Kravitz noticed how his hands were scratched and bloody. His shoes were covered in mud. He seemed to be shaking a little bit from either cold or exhaustion. “Also the lone house on the hill surrounded by statue things gave me a serial killer rich dude vibe, no offense,” Taako waved a hand that looked like it still had gravel embedded in the palm.

Dude? Yes Rich? No. Serial killer? Well he wouldn’t call it that but— His internal monologue was cut short by the sound of Taako’s teeth chattering. He managed to make himself useful. “Oh! Let me—“ he snatched up a blanket and went to wrap Taako’s shoulders and paused. “You’re not going... to... um...”

“Tentacle your dick?” Kravitz shut his eyes. Were all people like this? It had been about three minutes and he missed the quiet a little. “Yes that,”

“No, that kind of rude, sorry about that,” Kravitz draped the cover over him and Taako breathed a sigh of relief. Kravitz led him deeper inside carefully. He made sure he didn’t trip the man with his tail, that would be difficult to explain away.

“Someone’s chasing you? And you’ve been out there all night?” The elf sat down on Kravitz’s bed with a huff.

“I mean maybe on the chasing thing but I’ve definitely been out all night— Taako needs his beauty sleep,” He leaned his back against the wall. Kravitz slithered over to his bedroom shelves and rooted around. Sweat was running down his back.

There was a wizard in his home, who hadn’t been turned into stone. _Who couldn’t be_ , Kravitz realized. He had never thought someone would be immune to his powers. No one else was.

Every now and then, once every few weeks, someone would come up the hill. They would draw their swords or reflective shields or give a spiel about vanquishing an evil. They try and fight him with mirrors, not understanding that it doesn’t work in reverse. No one understood much about gorgons. At least that was what Kravitz’s mother had told him and he had gathered. But they seem to know where he lives.

They seem to know slaying a gorgon would give them some serious repute. They seem to know his scales and claws and teeth are valuable spell components. And they think that’s all they need.

He finally found the salve he was looking for, and turned to the bed, ready to announce it but stopped. Taako was asleep, slumped against the wall and snoring slightly, one hand clamped around his wand.

Kravitz paused, weighing his options of waking him up and getting blasted in the face, or dealing with his wounds in the morning. He settled for leaving the jar next to him and tucking the blanket a little tighter.

He seemed smaller like this, and much more exhausted. Kravitz gave his own hair a nervous tug, and almost was nipped by the snake in retaliation. The rain often made them restless, and they drifted around his shoulder blades, flicking their tongues. A few gravitated towards Taako curiously, but didn’t have the reach they needed. Watching them made him aware of how different he was than the elf.

He couldn’t find out. Kravitz felt bad about it but he would feel worse if Taako ran screaming down the hill and into the woods with the knowledge a gorgon was there. Taako would only probably stay how long? One or two days? At least until he regained his strength and bearings. Kravitz could pretend to be normal for two days. He moved out of his bedroom as quietly as he could, and set about searching for something he could use as a bed later.

It was his first time being a host and he didn’t intend to be a bad one.

***

Lup stared out the window. It was overcast out. Barry set down a mug of coco in front of her and snapped her out of it.

“What’re you thinking about?” He asked, sitting across from her. Their dinner table was littered with assorted papers, mail, and coffee stains. She hummed, traversing the junk mail.

“No letter from Taako,” Barry looked surprised over his drink. “Think it got delayed?” Lup was tapping her nails on the table, staring out the window again.

“Maybe,” thunder rolled in the distance. “Maybe.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ❤️


	3. Wakey wakey eggs and not much else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the wait this chapter was tough to get out but the rest of the fic is planned!!!

By the time Taako woke up the rain had stopped. He perked an ear, listening for anything special. There was some wind whistling a ways off. A steady drip of rain off the roof. No footsteps, so his host must be somewhere else.

He rubbed his eyes and groaned. He definitely felt better rested but memories of last night flooded back. He was in a stranger’s house in the bum fuck middle of nowhere. He pulled the blanket a little tighter and shifted on what felt like a shitty mattress. Correction; he was in a stranger’s bed in the bum fuck middle of nowhere. And he was hungry.

He stood himself up, keeping the blanket around his shoulders like a cloak, and carefully made his way through the place. He had to hum at a few walls here and there to avoid bumping into things, but he got a decent mental map.

The place consisted of two rooms (That he could find anyway). A smaller bedroom and a larger front room, which had a table, some bookshelves and on one side ah yes, a tiny kitchen. It was bare bare bones but Taako had worked with worse. He explored the counter very carefully. Not sure if this guy had left a knife lying out. It felt like chilly stone— in fact so did the floor. This guy sure liked his marble. He kept rooting around and what he found was a bit depressing.

Three old looking pairs of forks and knives. Two wooden bowls, one with a chip in it. A old fashioned stove that had a semi thick layer of dust. In the fridge, the only food he could find, several eggs, a small block of cheese, a bag of flour (who keeps flour in the fridge?) and a half full container of salt.

Again, Taako had worked with worse.

He fumbled around in the cupboards until he found a pan and set about whisking.

He heard his host before the door opened. Something was weird about his footsteps though. Instead of a standard sounding gait there was almost the sound of something being dragged along the ground. Maybe he had a limp. Taako decided to investigate that later.

“Oh you’re awa— What are you doing?” Taako poured the eggs into the pan.

“Decided to make my daring rescuer breakfast, and find out the name of said chivalrous dude,” he turned to smile in his direction. There was more of that weird dragging towards him.

“Well for one my name is Kravitz, two it’s night, so I suppose it would be dinner, and thirdly should you be around the stove? You are blind—“ Taako pointed at him with the fork.

“Now listen here, I’m a world class chef and despite your shitty stove and lack of anything edible— what are you holding?”

Kravitz looked towards the scythe he was holding with surprise.

“Oh well— There’s an abandoned corn field on the south side of the hill that I tend to best I can—“ Kravitz paused midway explanation “Wait how can you see it?” Taako plated the eggs somewhat cautiously, Kravitz’s scythe making him nervous.

“Elf sense of hearing baby, these ears ain’t for show you know. I use echolocation to get around. Also for a second I thought you’d snapped and came up here to murder me with a big ol stick,” he set the dishes on the table. Kravitz leaned his scythe against the wall worriedly.

“Scythes are farming instruments, not weapons,” Taako sat down in his chair and started eating, gesturing towards Kravitz with his fork.

“But still it’d be sick though?” Kravitz edged towards the table. No one had made him a meal since his mother, and Kravitz had the culinary talent of an average chair. He sat down cautiously, eyeing the elf. Taako seemed utterly absorbed in his food. He looked much more comfortable dry and bundled than the soaking mess he’d been earlier. Kravitz took a bite of dinner-breakfast and paused.

“This is excellent, oh wow,” he kept eating and Taako looked smug.

“You sound surprised homeboy, like I’d disappoint a fan,” he inspected his nails despite not being able to see them and Kravitz finished his dinner in two more bites (He didn’t chew much). “A fan?” He asked, mouth half full, then realized his mistake and looked away embarrassedly.

Taako cocked his head. “Yeah. Fan of me? Everyone is,” Kravitz looked at him across from his empty plate awkwardly. The pause was long enough for Taako to put down the fork with some force.

“Hold up you seriously don’t know me?” Kravitz shrugged then realized he couldn’t see it. “I’m afraid not,” Taako looked aghast in his general direction. “Holy fuck I feel so bad for you, deprived of the Taako experience, you poor little farmer boy,”

“I’m not a farmer,” Kravitz muttered picking up both plates, and slithering over to the sink. “Still when do you ever go into town?” Taako turned to face his general direction. Kravitz winced. “The closest town is a five days walk away actually,” Taako went quiet. “But you know how to get there right?”

Kravitz scrubbed the dish.

“Right?”

Kravitz scrubbed the dish a little harder.

A hand on his back made him spin, fangs bared on instinct. Taako looked terrified but not for the right reason. “You’re telling me I’m STUCK out here with you?” Kravitz deflated a little, having puffed up for the attack.

“Not how I would put it—“

“FUCK,” Taako turned around and walked away with his hands over his eyes. It was either a miracle he found the bedroom door, or his cursing gave him a clear enough picture. Kravitz followed belatedly. He found the wizard sitting on his bed and rubbing his face. Kravitz stood there waiting for something to happen. “I’m— I’m very sorry,”

“No buddy, I’m sorry because I’m stuck on a hill that I sure ain’t going back down alone and you can’t come since your leg is fucked and so I’m gonna become a farm elf I guess,” Kravitz was taken aback.

“A limp?” Taako gestured to the wrong part of the room. “Sorry hombre it just slipped out, I hear that weird drag you got going on in the foot area so I figured,”

“Yes,” Kravitz saw a lifeline and grabbed it. “I have a limp. I do. It’s why I can’t go to the village,”

“That’s fucked,” Taako had laid back on his bed.

“It’s quite alright, I hardly notice,” Kravitz went on, looking down at his distinct lack of legs thoughtfully. Taako rolled away form him to face the wall and Kravitz took this as the right time to sit next to him. This was when he noticed the small medicine jar untouched.

He picked it up and popped it open. “Face me for a second I need to,” Taako rolled over and looked up at him and Kravitz’s throat went dry. He looked miserable and angelic, hair mussed and wow he was staring. He averted his eyes and scooped some salve onto his fingers (Oh no don’t think about fingers Kravitz you are being incredibly rude).

“Uh, help you with your cuts,” Taako groaned, tossing one arm over his eyes and the other towards Kravitz.

“You sound like Lup and she is absolutely gonna kill me if I don’t die up here,” Kravitz had no clue what that meant but figured it was a normal person thing. He dabbed carefully at the wounds. They were angry and a little red around the edges.

“I’m not completely isolated of course,” The other arm was offered. “A merchant comes up the hill every two months and I buy supplies, like this medicine—“

“Your shitty groceries and weird statues?” Taako propped himself up and Kravitz bit his forked tongue to stop from saying something nasty. So far Taako thought he was a limping, statue collecting hermit. Still better than a gorgon. Barely.

“Yes. Those things. And he should be here in oh,” Kravitz did some mental math. “Six weeks?”

Taako sighed, tossing his head back. “Okay better than forever but goddamn my ass is grass when I get home Mr. Chilly Hands, freshly mowed,” Kravitz self consciously tucked his hands away. Being cold blooded had few upsides.

Taako got up slowly, stretching his fingers and cracking his back. “Well Krav my boy I better make myself useful on this farm of your’s what you got to do?” He strode out of the room and Kravitz’s tail flicked exasperatedly against the rug.

“It’s not a farm!” He called back, not noticing how the snakes on his head drifted in Taako’s direction, almost enamoured.

***

Magnus answered the door to Lup dressed for war. More precisely it was her, her husband, and Merle.

Lup was wearing what she called her ‘Ass Kicking Boots’ and Barry had on a worn leather chest plate that he didn’t quite fit in anymore. Merle was still in swim trunks and a Hawaiian shirt but that was his ‘Ass Kicking Outfit’ or so he claimed and also his normal attire.

“Is it quest time? Or is there a really bad costume party somewhere?” He asked bemusedly. Lup didn’t smile.

“Taako hasn’t written me in two days,” Magnus stopped smiling too. Merle leaned against the doorway. “Yeah we need some extra cannon fodder since Luce is our next stop and Dav is still out to sea,”

“Oh shit a rescue quest,” he backed into his cottage a little. “HEY BABE,” he yelled.

“WHAT?”

“LUP SAYS WE GOTTA GO FIND TAAKO,”

“WHAT?”

“I SAID LUP SAID WE GOTTA GO FIND TAAKO,”

Julia came around the corner of the kitchen, hand on her hip. “He lose y’all at Fantasy William Sanoma again? How much crap did he buy this time?” She came up to lean on Magnus’ arm. Barry shook his head. “Something’s wrong Jules, Lup’s twin senses were tingling,”

“Damn straight and we’re borrowing your husband to go mow some ass grass,” Magnus looked at Julia.

“That okay?” Julia leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Shit yeah baby you go bring that weirdo back home,” Magnus beamed and went inside to grab his stuff, while his wife talked to Lup about where Taako had been last on his tour.

Time to put together his own ass kicking outfit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let Mags and Jules be happy  
> Also yeah Taako uses echolocation to get around because ELVES and because WHAT THE FUCK JUSTIN  
> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ❤️


	4. Hens in Pens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry this chapter is so late this has been a crazy week for me. Also this part is partially inspired by a fic called Goth Chickens! Look it up and look up the breed they’re great.

“He’s a blind elf, he cooks and he has my exact face how can you not remember someone like that?” Lup was talking to her third exasperated citizen in the hour. Broken Branch was a tiny little place, but Taako’s most recent letters talked about the show he put on here. Lup walked back to Merle, ears flat against her head.

“Freaking sandstorm full of dildos could’ve ran through this place and people wouldn’t notice shit,” she growled. She was marching in the direction of the inn they were staying at and Merle had to increase his pace to keep up.

“Lup, we’ll find him, if not in this town than the next so just breathe,”

“I’m breathing I’m breathing Merle it’s just FUCK you know,” she slowed down a little and pinched the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t want him going out on his own like this because you know I was afraid something like _this_ was gonna happen,” she gestured to the invisible mess they were tangled up in. Merle reached over and placed a hand on her wrist.

“Lup, I promise you Taako is fine. He’s a competent spell caster and whatever,” Lup took his hand and kept walking.

“You’re right, I know,” she sighed. “But if he’s dead I’m gonna kill him.”

***

Taako perched on fence post with glee. “Not a farmer my pert elven ass,”

Kravitz gave him a sour look over his shoulder. The sun was out in full force, subjecting the elf, the gorgon, and the chickens to it’s heat. “I’m not a farmer because this is not a farm,” he insisted stubbornly, scattering some more corn for the hens to peck at.

“Mmhmm I’m just gonna picture you in some overalls from now on Kravvy,” one of his legs was swinging, ears perked, face tilted up. He was obviously enjoying the sunshine after two days in the cave.

Kravitz hadn’t wanted him to accidentally topple down the hill so he waited for his hands to heal before taking him along while doing chores. Now he knew about the chickens and didn’t seem like he was gonna let it go any time soon.

“I need a way to feed myself,” Kravitz muttered. Taako rubbed his hands together.

“Alrighty then you like your chicken deep fried or stir fried?”

“Oh no— no gods no that’s not what I meant,” Kravitz backpedaled furiously, looking appalled. “Eggs I— they’re egg chickens. For eggs.” He finished awkwardly. Taako huffed and waved his hands.

“Oh so what it’s not like they have names,” there was a very long pause. Taako let out a low groan and Kravitz laughed nervously. The wizard put his hands together and kicked his legs like an excited child.

“Well now you _gotta_ tell me,” he sounded far too delighted for his own good. Kravitz sighed. He was defeated. No way around this.

“There’s Nyx, that one is Onyx, and this little lady is Ink,” and with all the smugness he deserved he placed the chicken in Taako’s lap. The wizard made a squawk, leaning back dangerously on the fence post and Ink flapped in surprise as she was almost dropped. Kravitz immediately started cracking up as Taako regained his hold on the chicken.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS A CHICKEN?” He was apparently holding Ink too tight so she gave a warning peck to his arm. He almost let go but Kravitz guided his hands to hold her correctly.

They were a little chilly and the nails felt sharp and filed.

“Here like this— yes there you go, see? She likes you,” Taako was glaring at the source of the voice. He could hear the barely contained laughter.

“Well of course she does I’m Taako, and Oil Slick or whatever goth ass name you gave her knows it,” he lifted the chicken and cooed at her. “Isn’t That right Raven of Vampire Castle,” he heard and felt a small ‘cluck’ under his hands. Kravitz sounded amused.

“Actually they’re named that for their colors, they’re Ayam Cermani, so they’re all black,” Taako was running his fingers over the feathers in thought. It was like a warm plushy throw pillow that made noise.

“Why the fuck do you have these? Also What color are chickens usually?” He sat himself on the ground so he could hold Ink better and the noise to his left affirmed Kravitz had done the same.

“Oh um, brown and gold and such, but these came from the trader that visits here he specializes in..... unusual items,”

“Oooh,” the chicken climbed off his lap and Taako stretched his legs out. “Sounds like a good time— fUCK ON A SHIT,” he reeled back from a sudden pain in his foot.

“Oh my gods I’m so sorry that was Onyx she’s a nightmare— Onyx no stop that—“ Taako had jumped against Kravitz, who now helped him stand as there was some angry flapping around his feet. Taako gave a kick in the direction of the fuzzy chicken shape he was getting via sound.

“Oh you’re just the before picture of some nuggets you little goth shit— oW,” Kravitz guided him out the gate where the angry clucking stayed put.

“Again I am just, so sorry she’s spoiled,” he was busily latching the gate. Taako was still holding onto his back.

“Just say the word and I’ll magic missle the bird,” he sing songed and Kravitz snorted, turning to face him. Taako’s hands moves from his shoulders to his chest and his features lit up with surprise.

“Holy hell im feeling some fine ass muscle definition here boyo,” one hand trailed down his arm and the other up his neck. Kravitz felt the urge to close his eyes but instead watched the hands with something like morbid curiosity. They left warm paths on his skin.

Taako’s eyes were lowered in concentration, a lazy smile exposing his tooth gap. “Hey who needs chicken when I’ve got all this beef right? Now let’s get a looksee at your face—“

Kravitz grabbed his hand once it reached his jawbone. Taako froze, ears sticking up and quivering slightly.

“I’d, I’d really rather you not do that,” Kravitz managed it. The snakes on his head curled towards Taako’s hand and he put it down gently. The wizard took it back.

“It’s okay I feel ya man, I uh— yeah sorry about that,” Kravitz had ruined it.

Oh gods. This was why he couldn’t have nice things.

“No it’s just,” Kravitz gestured towards his face area before he remembered Taako couldn’t see it.

“It’s alright I wouldn’t want someone’s paws on my moneymaker either,” Taako turned and strutted confidentiality towards the cave. Or maybe that was just how he walked. “I’ll make us some lunch, don’t worry about it,”

Kravitz felt his own neck in the place Taako had as he watched him go. A snake nudged his hand impatiently. “Oh hush,” he muttered, not really looking away.

***

Tofu was easy to conjure up, natch. Taako was muttering over a small pot of rocks, willing them into flavorless soy bean paste. Being a transmutation wizard was handy when there was nothing edible to cook with. Some of these from rocks, some soy sauce from water, and a few peppers from—

Taako was familiar enough with the sensation of a knife across his throat to go still. A gruff voice and a fair amount of spit was hissed into his ear.

“Come with me if you want to live,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m fond of cliffhangers! Comments and Kudos are appreciated ❤️


	5. The Forked Tonuge Talks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo shout out to tomatotimes on tumblr for sending me some lovely art of gorgon Kravitz, and the rest of y’all for commenting!!! Thanks for your patience school has been nuts lately.

Taako was very still.

“Who are you?” The voice asked and boy howdy did this guy need a mint. “Is it keeping you here?” Taako’s hand tightened on the pan he was transforming the rocks in.

“Listen, as offended as I am you don’t know me, I’m gonna need more details than that my man, gonna need the full story,” he judged where the guy’s face was by his breathing.

“The monster,” it hissed, way too close to his ears by elven standards. “Where’s the monster?”

“Right behind you,” Taako answered and without missing a beat Garlic Breath turned around and got a cast iron skillet to the back of the head. He crumpled and the wizard leapt to his feet, scrabbling for his wand on the kitchen counter. “KRAVITZ, SOMEONE IS TRYING TO ROB YOUR SHIT,” he screamed and a hairy hand grabbed the back of his shirt. His fingers closed around his wand. He fired a Magic Missile over one shoulder and heard a yelp, along with the weight being removed from his back. There was a ‘shhng’ sound and oh fuck that was a sword that was a sword. He jumped onto to kitchen counter and aimed his wand below. “Don’t move or I’m gonna blast your ass,”

The words gave him the grainy image of a guy with a weapon drawn, pointed at him in return. It was a standoff. “You must be under it’s thrall,” sword man said. It almost seemed like he was wearing a bucket over his face but that couldn’t be right. It was probably some ugly ass helmet if his hygiene reflected his fashion choices.

“Who’s thrall? Baby, Taako doesn’t listen to no one especially not bucket wearing fuck faces,” that pissed him off. Taako heard him charging and jumped out of the way in the nick of time, bolting towards the door. “KRAVITZ BABE I COULD USE SOME HELP OVER HERE,” something whistled past his ear. Fuck, a cross bow. Why the hell was this guy armed to the teeth to rob a hut?

Heavy ass footsteps behind him were gaining and why oh why did he not jog with Maggie when asked? Oh right because running was terrible and this was proof. A hand around his ponytail and he was jerked back, wand falling from his grip. He was lifted like a cat, spitting and screeching.

“Tell me where your master is,” the guy shook Taako like a a fish in a bag, but it seemed to jostle an idea lose. No wand, no fancy spells, but a trick that had helped him out of a lot of situations. Taako lashed out and placed both hands on Bucket Head’s bucket.

“This really is a terrible helmet my guy I’m doing you a favor,” he promised, as the metal under his fingers transformed. Bucket Head let out an unseemly squeal and dropped Taako like he was hot (Which, of course he was). Taako groped around for something familiar while Mr. Drama Queen kept yelling about one thing or another.

“WHAT DID YOU DO— WHAT IS—“ There was a confused pause as Taako latched onto a stone leg. They must be in the statue garden. “Is this tofu?” Taako turned and humming, could see the figure of Bucket Head, one hand covered in former helmet, now gooey and dripping off his face. Taako also saw someone else, moving up behind Bucket Head slowly. The man turned and let out a strangled scream. There was a hiss like boiling water and a cracking like ice.

Taako’s hands shakily picked up his wand from the grass. The warrior wasn’t moving and Kravitz, with surprising speed but all the wrong movements of someone walking normally rushed past him.

“Taako? Taako are you alright? I heard screaming and— and you calling for me,” cold hands wrapped around one of the elf’s. They stopped when they noticed the wand being pointed at him with the other. Taako’s face was hard and unreadable.

“Kravvy boy I got a question,” Kravitz eyed the weapon carefully. “Yes?”

“When were you gonna tell me you were a monster?”

***

Kravitz’s hands shook as he poured the tea. Taako sat across the table in silent thought, wand in his lap. Kravitz sat down and lifted a cup to his lips. “So.... What gave it away?” Taako snapped out of his state and blinked.

“Well I mean I only put the pieces together fully when crazy face busted in here, wearing adventurers gear and looking for a gerblin,”

Taako pointed the wand at him accusingly. “Not to mention you don’t got a limp, you’ve got some weird fused leg tentacle thing down there,” Taako made a wiggly hand gesture and Kravitz resisted the urge to cover himself.

“It’s not a tentacle it’s my tail,” he insisted and Taako smirked.

“Knew it. Also you kind of petrified that bozo out there,” Taako took a sip of tea and Kravitz sadly watched his own cup get cold. “So my McFuckin question is— no no I’ve got several questions—“ the elf began to list off his fingers, “One, what are you exactly, what am I working with here?”

“Well actually I’m a—“

“Letter B you ain’t gonna eat me right? This isn’t a Taako buffet where one day I wake up in a giant soup pot that’s been shittily seasoned correct?”

Kravitz looked aghast. “I would _never_ ,” Taako fixed him with a look. “Uh huh you ain’t in my good books right now I’m not gonna take that on faith, numero three what else aren’t you telling me Mr. Mysterious and Handsome monster man?”

Kravitz decided to file away that last statement for later. “Well,” he started once he was sure Taako was done talking. “For one I’m a gorgon, so jot that down,” there was a moment of silence and Taako scrunched up his face.

“Like... a snake lady? Turns people to stone?”

Kravitz sighed and leaned back in his chair. “From the Jagged Tooth Mountains? Yes that would be my mother, she’s more... famous than I am,”

Taako perked up. “Ooh descended from stardom,” he leaned forward on his hands. “Your backstory thickens my dude. And your statue garden makes a helluva lot more sense,”

Kravitz fidgeted with his cup, the snakes on his head curling and shifting. “You’re not afraid?”

The wizard shrugged and played with one of his earrings. “I mean I’ve fought monsters and shit, went on adventures before I started my cooking gig, so no I’m not horrified you eat babies or whatever,”

Kravitz choked on his tea. “Where did I say I ate babies what—“

“I _am_ mad about the lying though, being blind doesn’t make me stupid shithead, being stupid does,” Kravitz shied away at his glare.

“I really am sorry about that. I haven’t had company in.... well... a very long time,” he studied the table in shame. “I didn’t want you running away back into the woods all by yourself and I can’t walk you into town,” Kravitz gestured to himself. “Being this,”

Taako chewed on a nail in thought. “So all those stoners outside?”

Kravitz rolled his eyes, “They all come here ready to slay a gorgon, ‘Oh foul beast I’m here for your head’ and all that nonsense but just some eye contact and,” Kravitz snapped his fingers and Taako’s eyes widened in realization.

“But I can’t see you,” he looked up. “That’s why my ass isn’t petrified out there with those boners.” Kravitz smiled. Taako’s creative language was growing on him.

“Yes it is, and everything else I told you is true, my name is Kravitz, I wouldn’t dream of hurting you and I can’t cook for shit,”

Taako laughed at that, it was kind of a goofy snort and Kravitz’s heart kicked into double time, then he paused. “Oh well there’s one more thing, this isn’t a house it’s a cave,”

Taako stopped laughing. Kravitz sipped his cold cup of tea awkwardly.

“I’ve been living,” the wizard seemed to be processing, “in a _cave_?”

“At the moment,” Kravitz replied.

Taako put his face in his hands. “Jeezy creezy when Lup hears about this shit she’s never gonna let me live it down,”

Kravitz fought back a laugh and leaned forward. “Am I forgiven?”

Taako considered it. “Yes,” Kravitz could’ve melted with relief.

“If you let me touch your face,”

“What?” Kravitz leaned back, “no no no no—“

“Yes yes yes yes,” Taako replied already leaning over the table with grabby hands. “Lemme get a feel, come on I’m gonna be the only fella who knows what you look like lemme see,”

“But,” there were so many objections to have against this.

Taako got up and edged around the table, a hand hovering. He tilted his head endearingly. “Please?”

Kravitz was oh so weak. “Okay but— mmph—“ he mumbled against the palm over his mouth.

“Whoops sorry,” Taako readjusted his hands’ course to run over his forehead then down the sides of his face. A warm thumb over the bridge of his nose and under his eye. He watched Taako’s face, deep in deep concentration. “Nice bone structure snake boy,” he mumbled, a finger trailing down to his lips, feeling the fangs there. Kravitz let his eyes drift shut. They were both silent for a while, birdsong through the door the only noise.

The spell was broken when Taako jerked back with a yelp. “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Kravitz almost fell backwards off the chair at the start. He looked up and noticed his snakes stretching forward to nose the wizard’s hand again. “It’s alright it’s alright it’s just my snakes,” he pointed to his head, remembered Taako couldn’t see it, then guided his hand nervous up to his scalp, where the skin faded into black scales. Taako felt tense, but his curiosity got the better of him and he reached into it.

Several serpents flicked their tongue at him and he shivered, letting out a giggle.

“Ohhhh Jesus this is three different kinds of weird they’re alive and shit,” his other hand was held up to his chin in nervousness and glee. “How does this even work? Do they eat? Are they like part of your brain? I’ve gotta get this info for Lup and Barry they’re into that weird shit,”

Kravitz was biting back a laugh as another snake got bopped on the nose gently by an elegant elven finger.

“How snake are you? Do you eat mice? Can you chew shit or do you just straight up vore it?” Kravitz frowned and tilted his head.

“What’s vore?” Taako paused, then stood up and walked away.

“Nope,”

“What? What did I do?”

“Nope nope nope not happening can’t do it won’t do it no way José Taako has hit his weird limit today and that’s saying something because usually I’m the goddamned weird autobahn but I’ve just had TOO MUCH today snake dude TOO MUCH and this is the cherry on top of the shit ice burg—“

“That’s not the expression—“

“I DON’T CARE SNAKE MAN SO IM GONNA MAKE LUNCH AND WE AIN’T GONNA TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE,”

“Okay,”

“Great,”

“Great,”

“......,”

“...........is it food related?”

“SHUT UP.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ❤️


	6. Time Rolls On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello sorry for the wait the SAT is gonna kick my ass anyway this chapter takes place over several weeks. Also!!! Shout out to callacaptor on tumblr who drew some awesome gorgon Kravitz!!!

The stagecoach was ablaze.

Horses screamed and galloped down the dark cobblestone street, their load illuminating the night as it crackled and burned. The houses on either side of the street were dark, as if they sensed the conflict and had decided to stay out of it.

Another ball of fire hurtled down the street and blew the back of the cart to splinters. The stallions screamed and weaved, and the burning shell of the wagon fell on its side, throwing a figure from the driver’s seat.

The sound of hoofbeats faded down the street as the horses escaped into the night, and the sound of footsteps took its place. The man thrown coughed and rolled to his side, hacking into the crook of his arm, clothes singed and sooty. The sound of footsteps stopped.

The figure threw his hands up weakly and looked up from where he was laying.

“What do you want?” Sazed croaked.

The group standing over him didn’t say anything but an elf with fire in her eyes lifted him up by his collar.

“I want my brother you fucking piss-stain.”

***

“So yeah Lup is a total badass,” Kravitz’s eyes flicked between watching the stir fry in the pan and Taako’s face. He was standing next to him at the stove, not being very useful but he hadn’t been told to leave yet. There had been hours of stories about Taako’s odd sounding and extensive family.

“It sounds like you love them very much,” He replied, and Taako let out a snort.

“No they’re all the worst, absolute fuckos,” Kravitz laughed, loud at first then muffled by his own hand. Taako was grinning at him.

“Don’t bottle that up snake man unless you plan on selling it and making beacoup buckets of cash,” he gave the vegetables in the pan a shake while Kravitz considered his words. An ear flicked towards the gorgon, which was his version of eye contact as Kravitz understood it.

“You got any family?”

Kravitz smiled at the thought of his mother. “Yes, just my mother but I moved out of her place quite a while back,” Kravitz made his face solemn. “No father unfortunately, the female gorgon eats the male after mating,”

Taako turned and gaped at him for five seconds before realizing and smacking his shoulder with a spatula. “YOU ASSHOLE,”

Kravitz broke into wheezing, laughing so hard he was about to fall over. “I cannot believe you bought that,”

Taako was hitting his shoulder with the kitchenware repeatedly. “YOU- FUCKFACE- THATS NOT FUNNY,” Kravitz had to lean against the counter or risk falling down. “Watch me burn your dinner mister funny man,”

Kravitz brushed his shoulder in warning before leaning on him. “You wouldn’t, you have too high a standard,”

Taako huffed but he was smirking. “I’ll make an exception for snake jackasses, not that you have an ass— OH MY GODS,” Kravitz nearly went into attack mode, looking around for the apparent danger before Taako almost took his eye out with the spatula. “WHERE’S YOUR DICK?”

Kravitz had to take a moment. “Excuse me?”

Taako turned the stove off and turned to face the gorgon, this apparently needing his entire focus. “If you don’t have legs where is your junk?”

Kravitz hummed for a second. “Well I’m afraid I can’t answer that question on an empty stomach— actually I can’t answer that question ever so let me go set the table,”

“KRAVITZ,” The wizard screeched at the retreating gorgon’s back. “YOU CANNOT LEAVE ME WITH THESE QUESTIONS,”

“The mystery continues goodbyeeee,” He called from the table while Taako threw a shouting fit.

He hadn’t laughed this hard in ages.

***

“This is south right? We’re going south?” Lucretia leaned down to squint at the map in Merle’s hands.

“We’re trying to go East and you’re holding it upside down,” Lup paced in the undergrowth in front of them.

“Oh my godddds guys we’ve been at this for days,”

“Well excuse me I rolled low on my Nature check,” Merle huffed.

“You’re a LIFE CLERIC how does that even happen?”

Magnus raised a hand from where he was currently shifting from foot to foot. “Uh maybe a bad time but I’ve gotta shit,”

Barry was now looking over the map with Lucretia after shooing Merle away. “Should’ve gone before we left,”

“But I didn’t have to go then,”

Lup sat down on a tree stump with her face in her hands. “I hate this fucking family,”

***

“I mean I knew Sazed was a fuck but like, not that big a fuck right?” Taako was ran his fingers over a blackberry’s skin, and then threw it in his basket. Kravitz slowed his own hand and looked at him over the brambles.

Taako had a seething hatred for the outdoors, but a deep love for making blackberry pie, so picking the fruit seemed a good way to get him out if the literal cave he was in.

“I mean I know I can be an asshole but fuck I mean, so much he wanted to kill me? Does... does everyone want that and he was just the guy to— shit,” He jerked his hand back from the bush and Kravitz leaned over to take it.

A ruby bead of blood welled on his pointer finger and Kravitz wiped it away.

“Stupid plants, not wanting to give up their delicious babies or whatever,” Taako muttered. His hands were shaking slightly. Kravitz had the sudden impulse to kiss the back of his knuckles. He smoothed over the cut with his thumb instead.

Taako had given him a tight lipped explanation about his time on the stagecoach and his former assistant, after Kravitz asking who would ever leave him here. Well maybe he hadn’t used that ardent of a phrase but he was thinking it for sure. The elf had seemed huffy and nearly squirmed under the attention. “He’s driven the wagon off a cliff for all I know now,” he had declared, throwing his hands up in the air.

Now he was quiet, ears pointed down.

Kravitz fished a band aid from out of his pocket (He had stabbed enough fingers on these bushes to know.) and began to patch up his hand.

“You know, I’m a monster who... freezes people on regular basis, albeit a bit against my will,” the bandage was snug, “and I wouldn’t dream of hurting you, so if I have no urge after several weeks, then I highly doubt any normal person wants you murdered Taako,”

Taako was smiling at the ground, pleased and obviously trying not to let it sink into his voice. “Well boy howdy aren’t you just a smooth talker,” Kravitz looked away and Taako giggled, pulling him back towards himself. Kravitz slithered up a bit so Taako could lean on him earnestly.

“I mean it snake face you should’ve been a lawyer, or a salesman or oooh a smooth jazz radio DJ,” Taako pressed himself into his side and Kravitz could barely muffle his laughter.

“I was always interested in music actually,” he admitted, starting their trek back up the hill. Taako tilted his head, hair catching in the sunlight and across the bridge of his nose and Gods the elf not being able to see his reflection in the mirror had to have been the cruelest trick in existence.

“Do tell,” he walked arm in arm with Kravitz all the way back to the cave. And he never took his hand back.

***

“Yeah sure I know those woods,” the halfling behind the bar polished a glass while looking at the map Lucretia had set on the counter.

They were in a small inn, at a smaller town, weeks since Taako’s letters had stopped coming in, and days since they had ‘convinced’ Sazed to point out the approximate spot where he last saw Taako.

“That’s great,” Barry almost sounded sarcastic but Lucretia knew he was genuine, just exhausted. The man had spent about an hour convincing his wife to go to sleep and not immediately burn down the woods looking for her brother.

“We can pay people to help with a search, we need to canvas this patch over here and—“

“Oh absolutely not,” the halfling cut Lucretia off, looking alarmed. “No one here is gonna go out there,” Barry and Lucretia shared a worried look as something heavy sunk into Lucretia’s gut.

“And why is that?” She asked, knowing this was their average luck.

The halfling gave them both a once over, as if reconsidering them.

“I mean, aren’t y’all here to kill the gorgon?”

***

“Nice night,” Taako was comfortable, looking up at the sky.

“Lots of stars,” Kravitz promised into his hair. Taako stretched like a cat getting comfy in its favorite spot. He rolled over so his face was stuck into Kravitz’s neck.

“Really pretty my man, hella dope untouchable points of light I one hundred percent agree,” he could feel Kravitz’s chuckle and the end of his tail wrapped around Taako’s ankle.

“They don’t hold a candle to you,” The elf smiled and looked at the other man.

“That’s gay,”

“To be fair we are gay,”

“You’ve got me there,”

“Taako, may I... um...” Kravitz got quiet the way did when he was staring at Taako and thought Taako didn’t realize. The wizard readjusted himself and propped his head up on his hand.

"Yeah?”

“I want... I um, mean I would like—“

Taako leaned in close. He could feel his breath, the cautious hand hovering over his back, the sensation of scales against his ankle. “Yeah?”

It was the softest and coldest kiss of his life and stars had absolutely nothing on this.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has been,,,,,,, months. I am so sorry you guys thanks for being patient. I had to take a break from writing while preparing for my SAT and AP tests and such. But this is the last chapter and I hope you enjoy.

The lich was a surprise.

Kravitz had his fair share of odd customers on the hill but the abomination of death was a refreshing novelty. It hovered, a cloud of infernal arcane energy and soul, a little ways outside his door.

“YOU,” trendils of red lightning arced off of it, it’s spectral hair blowing back from where it pointed at Kravitz. It’s voice echoed and wavered, too deep and too loud. “WHERE IS—“

“Are you Taako’s sister?” The lich paused. Kravitz looked up at her, steaming coffee mug in one hand. He slithered a little farther from the cave, approaching carefully.

“I mean, he’s alive and healthy I wouldn’t hurt him, in case that’s what you were afraid of,”

The lich floated, and there was an awkward pause. “So you’re cool? A cool monster?”

Kravitz smiled. “You must be, Lup correct? that’s who I figure you are from all he’s told me— Uh Taako dear!” He called back into the cave.

“Whaaaaat?” His drawn out reply came back and Kravitz raised a placating hand towards the lich. “Sorry he’ll be out in a second— well actually you probably know him best and how long he takes to get ready— Taako someone’s here for you!”

“Unless it’s fantasy dominos I don’t give a shit,”

“No it’s not!”

“Is it that Garfield guy?! He’s early and I haven’t packed—“

“No it’s your sister!”

“Whaaaaat?”

“Your sister!”

“OH SHIT,”

Suddenly a form darted out of the cave and there were identical squeals of joy.

“There’s my shithead baby brother!” Lup’s ghostly form threaded through and wrapped around Taako while he grasped at her, electricity nipping at his fingers.

“There’s my dingus sister, where’s—“

A body Kravitz hadn’t noticed until this moment crashed into Taako full speed and lifted him into the air like a scarecrow. “HE LIIIIVVVEES,” Magnus called as the rest of Taako’s family came out of the woodwork, behind statues and bushes and seemingly thin air. He edged back from the gathering as politely as he could and averted his eyes for a number of reasons.

“We were worried,” Barry was saying.

“Kids these days don’t call—“

“—totally lost and it was all Merle’s fault,”

“I’m going to kill you! You disappeared! What the fuck!”

“So the gorgon didn’t eat you?”

“I’m fine! I’m fine!” Taako insisted as he was fussed over from three different angles. “Taako’s been good out here guys thanks to, well you know me being baller as shit and that cute creep over there KRAVITZ COME SAY HI,” he shouted in the wrong direction and Barry turned him around gently.

Kravitz didn’t turn around and continued to face the statue garden. “I— Uh I’d rather not freeze your family Taako so I’ll just stay over here for now, lovely to meet you all by the way,”

Barry leaned close and whispered to his brother in law, staring at Kravitz’s back, “Soooo you wanna explain that part of this bud?”

Merle was nodding his head. “No need to explain he rolled a nat twenty for seduction,”

Lup looked as horrified as a skull could. “Oh no you are absolutely not allowed to say those words with your old man mouth,”

“Yeah stop being gross, dad,” Magnus gave the dwarf’s bun a flick and he glared up at the rest of them.

“Well it’s true ain’t it? Tell em Taako,” all eyes turned back to the elf who had broken out into a fine sheen of sweat.

“Okay first of all never say the word seduction again that’s off limits for anyone over two hundred okay—“

“Seduction seduction seduction seduction—“

The elf turned from Merle to the rest of his family with an accusatory point. “And letter number B I did NOT seduce him he fell hopelessly in love with me after I crashed on his couch for a while,” he flailed his hands flippantly. Lucretia was looking at the statue garden carefully.

“Well that seems like a lot of murders,”

Taako huffed and crossed his arms “They started it! He can’t help freezing them. We’ve probably done way more murders than that on purpose! No big deal,”

Magnus was grinning wickedly. He squished the elf against his side with an arm. “Well if it’s not a big deal then you won’t mind us meeting him,”

Taako attempted to shove him but it was like trying to push an elephant over. “Uh hello? You’ll die? I know y’all like to embarrass me but this is going overboard my guy,”

Magnus modded solemnly. “It’s a risk we’re willing to take.”

Lucretia was studying Kravitz’s figure from a distance, fingers on her lips thoughtfully. “Actually, I can probably make it less risky,”

***

The Seven Birds sat on the grass in various states of comfort, studying their work with deep thought.

“He looks pretty good,” Merle admitted finally.

“Yeah he’s totally not ugly enough to turn someone to stone,” Magnus was scratching at his sideburns.

Kravitz fiddled with the sunglasses on the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know it— it seems rather anti climatic—“

Lup burst into, now non phantasmal laughter (The gang had hid her body behind a tree while she went lich and retrieved it quickly once their spook attempt failed). “Oh of course you started dating a drama nerd,” Taako flicked a piece of cheese at her.

They were all seated on the edge of the grassy hill, snacking from the picnic basket Taako had prepared earlier. It was a nice warm day, very sunny, and Kravitz turned his head up towards the light. His snakes curled sleepily around his ears and he caught Barry staring.

The scientist stuttered. “Sorry it’s just, I’ve got a lot of questions, see me and Lup are— are Uh— researchers on rare and unique stuff—“ Lup leaned over, one arm around her husband and one arm around Taako.

“Hell yeah now I’ve got science on the side of messing with my brother’s boy toy,” Taako let out an indignant squawk and moved away from his sister. He pawed until he found Kravitz’s tail and could lean against him fully. The gorgon looked away sheepishly as Taako made himself comfortable and wrapped part of his tail around his waist like a blanket.

“Rude, you fucks are rude, you crash our picnic and now you wanna jab at Kravitz,” the wizard gave him a pleading look,”Babe turn them to stone,” Kravitz smiled, and felt the urge to kiss him well up, then dry under Lup’s gaze.

Merle was sitting cross legged enjoying a sandwich. “Hey if you joke like that we get to make fun of you for dating a snake guy,”

Magnus sat up from his position of trying to catch the grapes Lucretia was tossing in his mouth. “Hey you’re dating our other dad you don’t get a pass,”

“Me dating Davenport is a power move—“

“WHERE ARE YOU LEARNING THESE WORDS?!”

Taako was groaning into Kravitz’s side, and the man smoothed down his hair, body shaking with laughter.

“Kravitz, Kravitz I am so sorry I’m making you move in next to these fools,”

Magnus inhaled a grape too fast and started choking. Barry and Lup shared a look.

“He’s moving in with us?” The human looked half parts intrigued, and worried.

“Way to run that by us Taako,”

“I just did!” The elf pointed out, reaching up to let Kravitz’s snakes nose at his fingers.

“My Sizzle it Up Days are over since you probably wrecked the wagon,” Magnus and Lup shared a guilty look. Taako didn’t seem surprised. “Uh huh so we slap a glamour on him and no one knows the doc, he’ll just be the handsome little sculptor who got with that hot chef who retired fabulously early,”

Kravitz watched his snakes leave butterfly kisses along Taako’s fingertips and a thought occurred. “Where is Sazed anyway? I’m sure he’d make a lovely statue,” 

Taako hugged him around the middle, somehow becoming even more entangled. “Aww you’d do a murder for me? You big sap,”

Lup was digging through the picnic basket for more deviled eggs. “Oh don’t worry we hog tied that fool in front of the police station and stuck a letter of confession to his ass,”

Kravitz watched Taako softly, running a thumb over his wrist. “Well then I suppose all there’s left to do is move my things, and we might have to find a new place for the chickens to live—“

Magnus sat up so fast he nearly headbutted Merle in the face. The dwarf fell back with a dismayed yelp as Magnus turned to Kravitz. “You have chickens?”

The gorgon blinked in surprise. “Well yes over that ridge I have a coo—“

“HELL YEAH,” Magnus had already taken off in that general direction. Kravitz watched him go, vaguely mystified while Lup reached over to pat his shoulder.

“He’ll pet anything, I’ll go make sure he doesn’t tear up shit too hard,” she stood and followed at a more leisurely pace.

As her footsteps retreated Taako’s hands patted and found his face, pulling him down for a kiss. Kravitz smiled into it and pulled away gently. “Now what was that for?” Taako shrugged, hands still tracing patterns on his face. Merle’s wolf whistle in the background was widely ignored.

“I dunno, Lup is gonna stop us smooching from here on out and I’ve gotta get as many on you before she comes back,” Kravitz laughed.

From here on out. He liked that idea.

The hill was full of chatter, and later that evening, music. It wasn’t a solo this time, two violins in harmony with a grand piano, over the hills and the forest and the statue garden.

A symphony. 

And every note was less lonely than the last.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and Kudos are appreciated ❤️


End file.
